Why do people go through grief in so many different ways? Some people get extremely sad, others carry on as though nothing has happened (or that's how they seem on the outside at least). I don't fall into either of these categories; I get mad. I get so angry that I can't focus on anything else and I just want to rant and be angry at the world.
So many people who have either been close to me or close to the people I care about have died in the past few years. Don't get me wrong, I know people die for various reasons every day, but it seems like the people I've known have died for absolutely no reason! None of them have been sick, none have had dangerous lifestyles or careers. People say "it was their time" and frankly I think that's bulls**t. Who decides that a 20-year old is ready to die, or a 40-something with two kids, or even a 70-something with grown children and grandchildren?
Some of you would expect me to go on a relegious rant here, but I'm really not in the mood to go there today. Today I just want to be mad. I want to hate the world for letting these people die and doing nothing about it. I want to be angry that there's nothing I can do about it.
To the friends and family members who have lost someone recently, to myself - I am mad. I am mad that we have lost these amazing people. I am mad that we won't ever really know if it could have been prevented. I am mad that I don't know what to do about it.
I am sad...but I'm showing it by being mad.